Twenty years ago, as a mere five year old little girl, I knew that Jesus loved me and that if I asked Him into my heart, He would save me and I would go to Heaven with Him when I died. And five year olds do understand more than I think we sometimes give them credit for...but my understanding was still very basic and there have been many occassions in the last 20 years that I have tripped up, veered off in the wrong direction, been distracted by the things around me, and been anything but Christ like.
If I look back and am truly honest about my "walk" with Christ, my footsteps have probably been wandering more than in step with His. I think sometimes those of us who were saved at a young age and grew up in the church in a loving Christian home, those of us who don't have some rock bottom to mountain top testimony, and those of us who have just tried to live a good and decent Christian life...I think we lose the passion along the way. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade the life I had growing up for anything because it shaped the person I am today...but there have been times that I wish I had a more exciting testimony that would leave people speechless and amazed at what God has done in my life.
And that's the clencher. Looking back at what God has done in my life leaves ME speechless and amazed. So does it matter how it makes others "feel?"
With that said, I've struggled with my lack of passion for quite some time now. I'd lost the joy in my salvation. Have you ever seen a new Christian? I mean, a person who has just been transformed? It's an incredible thing...and so encouraging. But I have struggled, being a Christian for most of my life, to gain the same excitement in my salvation. In the last few months though, that excitement in my salvation has slowly been emerging. I've been learning so much more about what it truly means to be a Christian, a true Christ follower, not just a moral church goer.
So God laid on my heart that I should be baptized again. Now that I understand the real symbolism behind baptism and the significance of that symbolic burial to my old self.
And so I was baptized again on Sunday, by the man that I think I have grown the most from in the last few months and years. It's hard to describe the feeling of going under that water and rising up out of it. It's amazing. I really felt cleansed. It was like I could feel my old self just drown in that water and this new creation come up out of the water. I had plenty of old self...plenty of gossipy, lazy, negative, worrisome, old self to bury (all of that while a Christian!). Out of the water came a woman of peace. That's the best way to describe it...sheer joy and PEACE!
I let go of a lot in that water. I needed that. I craved that. I got that.
Washed by the Water....the Living Water. Ain't nothin' better I tell ya!
My heart was filled with everlasting joy watching you. I loved your before you went under, and I love after you came up. You are just amazing and I am so proud to be your friend, and sister!
ReplyDeleteBonded forever in HIM!
~ Love you, Ronda