This Friday, my sweet precious boy will be a year old. Where does the time go? I know that is a so overused question but seriously, I feel like there is a black hole in my life somewhere just sucking all the time out of it. It's lost and gone forever. I have been so emotional lately (my poor husband). I wondered out loud today if this was a normal mother thing...if all mothers go a little crazy at the one year mark because they realize that in like 2 more seconds, that little child is going to be all grown up. I've been weepy off and on all weekend and it's not even officially his birthday.
But in the midst of it all, God found a way to speak to me....on the way home from a last minute Publix run at 9:30 this morning (mid cake baking, I ran out of powdered sugar). I just started crying randomly again (go figure!) but this time they were tears of pure joy. I just thanked God for the blessing of that sweet little boy that I am certain I don't thank Him enough for and then I just started giving thanks for all the blessings in my life that I tend to take for granted sometimes. I asked Him, "God, what did I do to deserve such goodness?" And that's when He whispered the answer to me: "That's the beauty of grace, My daughter. You don't deserve it. And yet, I still give it to you." Oh, how humbling. I began to ask forgiveness for not trusting Him like I should...for being worried about finances. I mean, for the last 24 years of my life, He has provided. So why on earth would I doubt that now? I told Him from now on, our finances were in His hands and I would trust in His timing for this railroad job for Jason and trust that He would provide what we needed WHEN we needed it. And what do I get in return? Jason got paid $75 today for a job he did for a family member several months ago. Others were worried about him not being paid but for some reason, we didn't sweat it. And in our time of need, wondering if we would have enough to make it to the end of the month to my payday, God came through...like He always has, always does, and always will.
Aside from that, I know that this week will end up being busy and I probably won't get a chance to post this so I'm going to now. This is my poem to my precious little boy, nothing out of this world but just trying to put into words how this 1st birthday business it affecting me.
I Won't Blink
It was love at first sight
My heart was yours
Not a minute old
And I loved you to my core
Time stood still
If only for a moment
But when I saw you
I knew you were heaven sent
For only God can create
Such a beautiful gift
Because you, my son
Give my spirit a lift
I cannot believe
That a year has passed
If I could just stop time
Or make these moments last
I only wish
That I could guarantee
That years from now
You'll still need me
Oh sweet baby boy
You must know
How much I love you
And every second it grows
I know I can't stop time
That's silly to think
So from here on out
I just won't blink.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tebowing?
I know that I might catch a lot of flack for this…that is if anyone even reads this blog and actually disagrees...especially if the creators of tebowing.com caught wind of this. But I’m going to write it anyway.
Let me first say that I am a huge fan of Timothy Tebow. I was born a Florida Gator fan and have remained so through their terribly terrible seasons, their okay seasons, the Tebow seasons, and yes, the post Tebow seasons. I became an even bigger fan during those famed Tebow days, not only because he brought us some great seasons, but more so for what he stood for. As a Christian, I wholeheartedly respect that man and how he tries to use his platform to glorify Christ. I have just one issue. This issue is NOT his fault. He did not coin the term nor does he really have any control over what his rabid fans do to honor him & I doubt it’s a battle he would choose to fight anyway seeing as how he has too many.
This new term, “tebowing,” has become the newest thing. I’ve seen the ads on the side of facebook but just recently read an editorial by the NY Times about the whole anomaly. Yes, the editorial is a month old but I came across it while searching for editorials for my students to complete a project. My co-worker had a copy of this one and it really interested me. In the piece, “Tebowing on the Gridiron, and Off,” it talks about Tebow’s pre-game “posture” of taking a knee and lowering his head to his fist before a game. The fact that Tebow does this does not surprise or shock me. He is a disciple of Christ having a talk with his best friend before a game. And wait for it…here’s the clencher…it’s actually NOT called Tebowing as so many have begun to say. It’s called PRAYING. And no matter how amazing some think this is, it has actually been done long before Tebow was even heard of and hopefully, it will be done long after he is gone.
I have nothing but respect for a man who faithfully kneels to his Creator to say a prayer before a game. Does he pray for a win? Perhaps. But after reading his book Through my Eyes, I rather believe that he prays that his actions in the game would glorify the Lord and that he would play his best.
With all that said, I have not watched one Denver Broncos game, mostly because when I did have cable, I could never find the game and now that I don’t have cable, well I simply can’t. But when I see the thousands of posts about him on a Sunday evening on facebook, I faithfully google the Broncos and check out the updates of his latest 11th hour win…because, well, that is his trend as of late.
My problem with the term “tebowing” stems not from any disappointment with the man himself; it stems from the fact that the term for a reverent conversation with the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, has been degraded to a term named after an imperfect HUMAN. On tebowing.com’s site, it lists the (for lack of a better word) formal definition as “(vb) to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.” Well, that’s all fine and dandy but now you have all these pictures of people supposedly “tebowing” in front of different back drops. But if the definition rings true, how many of those pictures are really legit? Are those people all ACTUALLY praying while in that position? I dare say (and yes, this is absolutely a judgment on my part) not.
I fear, and it has already begun, that Tebow is going to be held in higher regard than the one that he himself is trying to glorify. Don’t believe me? Check out Mark Kriegel’s most recent article here. The most jaw dropping line for me? “I can’t think of an athlete, who has been judged by such bipolar standards. Tebow began the season as a bum. Then he became a savior (not just the garden-variety redeemer of a franchise, but spoken of as a true messianic figure).” Let’s get one thing straight here, people. Tim Tebow is NOT a savior. And if he were sitting with me while I was typing this, I think he would be the first to agree. There is only ONE savior and that is Jesus Christ…the very person that Tebow uses his platform to bring praise and honor to so stop twisting it. Tebow is a wonderful man, a great football player, and a good quarterback but he is not a savior. Let’s reserve that term for the one man who deserves it…the One who came to give His life so that we could live the lives that we do.
As wonderful as Tebow is, he is still human, and if we continue to put him up high on this pedestal, one of these days, a lot of people are going to be disappointed. If you think he is beyond messing up, you have another thing coming. Tim Tebow, like the rest of us Christ followers, is just an imperfect and ordinary man saved by grace who just so happens to have an extraordinary platform to bring honor to his Savior, Jesus Christ. If the rest of the sports world can’t get that through their thick skulls, then we are going to have a serious mess to clean up one day.
With all that said, my respect for the man remains unwavering as does my faith in the One that he and I both worship – our Heavenly Father – and HE, not any man, should be first!
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