Wednesday, January 8, 2014

In the Wilderness

I haven't blogged much lately.

When I overhauled my blog page, the plan was to blog regularly each week. But my problem is that I don't tend to want to blog about superficial things...at least, if I do, I don't tend to share them on facebook. I share my blog when I post something I feel has some "meat" to it or engages some sort of intelligent thought.
Lately, I haven't felt it. I've sat staring at a blank blog screen wanting to write something that will make my small collection of loyal readers think deeply about matters of faith and life and parenting and relationships. I just haven't felt inspired. Not cool for a wanna-be author.

I've been wondering why this was so for several weeks - pondering why I couldn't get inspired to write anything. I was in the shower the other night (sorry for the overshare) and I just started praying. It was then that I realized that my lack of inspiration came from a lack of preparation which stemmed from a lack of passion. My inspiration comes from the Lord but I haven't been preparing myself by staying in the Word or maintaining a daily prayer life simply because the passion to do so has waned.

Why? Beats me...

I love the Lord and I desire to be in His will and I desire to be the Christ-follower I am meant to be, but that desire has not equaled passion lately and my lack of passion has turned into a loss of inspiration. But, you see, it shouldn't matter whether I have a "passion" to read the living word of God or whether I have a "passion" to stay in communication with my Creator. What should matter is that I do it anyway - and doing it anyway will eventually create passion. My prayer in the shower the other night was that the Lord would restore to me the joy of my salvation. David had to pray the same thing didn't he?

I started reading "Believing God" by Beth Moore thanks to a free download and it's perfect for what I feel I'm going through spiritually right now - a wilderness journey. I'm Heaven-bound, I've been set free, I'm no longer in bondage, but I'm stuck in the wilderness and have not reached my Promised Land yet. Why am I the wilderness? While I'm not sure I know the answer to that one yet, I do know it is not God who moved. He is constant and unchanging. I am the one who has, in a sense, gotten lazy in her walk to the Promised Land. And, instead of feeling like I'm moving forward, I feel like I am at a stand still. You know who can fix that problem? Me. Just me. 

Beth Moore, in her book, challenges readers to take on 3 Faith practices for a chosen amount of time. I have yet to decide how long I want to do these 3 things but I am expecting big things to come from it. I don't care too much for the wilderness, even though my God is faithful in the midst of it. I want to keep moving forward and eventually find myself in the land that God has promised me - whatever and wherever that might be. 


Maybe my promised land awaits right through the fog...perhaps it's the fog (the unknown) that scares me. 
(Photo obtained through google images)



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