Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Perfect Number 7

I totally meant to write part of this blog yesterday but by the time I actually got everything done around the house I wanted to get done and read my Bible, it was after 9:00 and I was beat. We borrowed our Pastor's truck when I got home yesterday to take the tables and chairs back to the church since we used them for Gabe's party. Then we came home and I cooked a delicious meal: a zucchini, black bean, and rice skillet. I did the dishes while Gabe and daddy watched Sesame Street. Now mind you, my wonderful hubby actually got us caught up on laundry yesterday, cleaned and straightened his side of the bed, had the clothes FOLDED (his mama helped of course), and started cleaning out the office. The kitchen was mostly clean when I got home AND he had moved the unused car in the driveway to the other side so that I could have my parking spot back. I was a happy gal.

Yesterday marked 7 years to the day since I met my husband. On a cold February 4th, back in 2006, I met him for the first time in the parking lot of the church I started attending. My mom loves to tell the story of me calling her that night to tell her I met my husband. He didn't know it of course but I sure did. We spent 3 months afterward building a friendship before we became "official." And, of course, the rest is history. When I told him it had been 7 years, he said, "The perfect number." I love him.

Thinking about my life with him over the last 7 years had me in a sort of nostalgic mood...could be too that we just celebrated our boy's 2nd birthday with a party and even though he's been 2 for a few weeks, it really hit me Saturday. I mean, two sounds so much older than one. When I got home yesterday, I asked Gabe if he had a good day with daddy and he proclaimed, "I happy!" It's the little things that get me. I thought, Yup, me too. I'm simply happy. I am married to a caring, selfless man who takes care of our son, fixes things around the house without complaint, constantly reminds me of my worth, and makes me feel like a queen. He can cook too! With a father like that as a role model, I can't imagine our son could turn out too bad.

I came across a blog post by a blogger I follow frequently. She wrote about the 10 Ways to Respect Your Husband. They were awesome reminders of what every wife should already be doing. My favorite was her number 6 - "Be respectful to him even in his absence." It's so easy for women to get together and "vent" about their men - - - but that is disrespectful to him. I try my hardest to never get caught up in that. As a matter of fact, I often brag about him to my peers. I am ready to defend him at a moment's notice if need be. Honestly, I don't feel the need to vent. He is an amazing man that I feel so incredibly blessed to call my hubby. I wrote on our anniversary about a month ago about how we don't fight.

This topic has come up in my conversations with more than one person and I've heard for years that fighting or arguing is "healthy" in a relationship or that if you don't fight, you're not being honest with each other. And, for a time, in my few prior relationships, I probably believed that. But not now...and it's not what the Bible teaches either. That is a worldly concept that is widely believed: fighting makes a marriage stronger. But nowhere in the description of love in 1st Corinthians does it say, "Love delights itself in a good fight." Nowhere in Ephesians when Paul is describing how husbands and wives should act toward one another does it say, "Have a good fight regularly."

Will good relationships go through rough patches? Yes. Will strong relationships have an occassional squabble? Absolutely. But in our relationship, we honestly do not "fight." If we have a disagreement that has the potential to turn into something nasty, my husband, in his wisdom, will walk away from the situation to prevent himself from saying something that he would most likely regret. I have had to learn to deal with this because I am the "let's talk it out and get it over with now" type of person. He has to have time to calm down before he can talk about the issue. This used to bug me but not anymore. I get it...and I've learned to appreciate it. Of course, honestly, this has only happened a handful of times in our 5 years of marriage. And we are extremely honest with one another. The difference is that if we feel like we need to share something with the other that has the potential to hurt their feelings, we approach it with love and grace and explain beforehand that what we have to say is meant with love and not meant to wound the other. In Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, when He is speaking the Beatitudes, He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers." He doesn't say, "Blessed are the squabblers." I know that verse extends to all people...keeping peace with all...but it applies to the spousal relationship as well. Is it "normal" to fight? Sure, but do I really want to be normal? Nah....

I'm sort of learning that in order to be more like Christ, I should probably just do the opposite of the world. Seems to work in most cases. I just look at what is common in the world and do the exact opposite...within reason. More and more, I am looking to the Scripture and to what Christ Himself said about certain issues. He didn't bring an easy Word, friends. The Christian life is not and should not be easy. It is not for the faint of heart. When you become a Christian, a CHRIST FOLLOWER, you have to count the cost. One cannot TRY too hard to be a Christian...how can you try too hard to follow the One that saved you? It doesn't even make sense. Christ died for me....so I will do what it takes to follow Him...no matter how many times I stumble and fall.

I'm grateful to be married to a man who feels the same way. I believe we challenge each other in our personal walks with Christ...something I appreciate tremendously. Honestly, I could not ask for more. I'm thankful for the last 7 years of knowing that wonderful man of mine and am looking forward to many more.