Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Oh, Teaching...

First, let me say that I really do love my job. I love my kids and the people I work with. I love seeing the light in kids' eyes when they "get it" and I actually enjoy the teaching aspect. It's all the other junk that gets me. The grading, the paperwork, the copies, the paperwork, the changes every 5 seconds, the paperwork! AHHHH!

I had a sort of meltdown last night. I wasn't in tears or anything...I just became so frustrated thinking about everything I needed to get done and want to get done at work that I kinda lost my marbles for a few minutes. Bless my hubby's heart. Sometimes he doesn't know what to do with me. I really feel like a brand new teacher all over again this year. You'd think by now I'd have it down....but I don't. I'm constantly asking my co-worker, teammate, and neighbor how to do this or that...it's a good thing she's so patient.

I have such a desire to be a "highly effective" (educator-speak for those that don't know) teacher - fancy terminology for one of those awesome teachers that just "has it." Sometimes, though, I wonder if I picked the right profession. I confided in my hubby last night that in order to be as great as I want to be, I have to stay later, work harder, and do a little sacrificing. But, I feel guilty if I have to stay late...and not because he makes me feel that way. He totally understands. I guess it's normal for working moms to feel guilty. Any other working mamas feel me on that? I feel like if I spend more time at school, then I have to sacrifice time with my husband and son and that time is very precious to me. I will say I picked the perfect career for being a working mom - weekends off, frequent holidays, summer break. But don't let the time off fool you. Teachers work their butts off during the year (and many during the summer).

Honestly, I'm starting to get nervous about FCAT. I've never really been that nervous. I know I'm teaching what they need to be successful but maybe I'm nervous because I actually care this year. It sounds bad, I know, but the last few years I have been in survival mode - just trying to make it day to day - but now, I'm slowly getting out of that phase and trying to jump into the mastery phase - mastering the art of being a teacher. It really is an art - it's like a delicate dance. We have so much constantly thrown our way and we just have to catch it and keep steppin'.

So with my facebook and games fast, my set pinterest limits (seriously need those limits), and my balance of time with family and with the Lord, I am trying my best to become more organized...at home AND at school. When we first returned from winter break and I talked with my kids about the importance of making goals, I mentioned that one of my long term goals is to become more organized. Those little rascals all turned and looked at my desk! I just laughed and said, "Well, obviously, it's a work in progress." And it is. I'm getting there. You can actually see the surface of my desk at work now - that's a definite step in the right direction.

And today, my oh so wonderful hubby cleaned out and organized our home office. We have such an awesome space in our office...it was just covered in papers, bills, books, magazines and other randomness that the entire surface was unusable. He organized it all so that I would have a place to work - grade papers, do lesson plans, etc. if I didn't want to be at school but still needed space to get stuff done. He's so awesome! So I must say, I'm feeling much better than I was last night. I've gotten stuff done and I'm feeling good.

Here is the wonderful space in which I now have to work...aren't you jealous? ;)