Thursday, December 6, 2012

Best Intentions

You ever hear that phrase? "Well, I had the best of intentions..."

Chances are, if you've known me for any length of time, you've heard me say this a time or two (or three or four).

I'm going to get real transparent here for a minute. I am going to confess: I. Am. A. Best. Intentioner.

Yup, there it is folks. I said it. I made up a word too. That's when you know I mean business.

I've always wanted to be the kind of person others could depend on and count on, the type of person that does what she says she is going to do. And when I say I'm going to do something, in my heart of hearts, I really truly desire to do that something. I truly believe that I will get it done.

So what happens between the "going to do" and the "just didn't get to it?" I don't have an answer for that one. I can make excuses: "I didn't have the money," "Life happened," "Something else came up," "I just didn't have the time." But these statements are just that: excuses. Now of course there have been times where I really had plans to do something or finish something and honestly circumstances out of my control crept up and got in the way. It happens to everyone. But 8 times out of 10, it's my own laziness that gets in the way.

Training for a 5k or half marathon: doesn't cost money - I'm just lazy.
Serving in certain areas: doesn't cost money - it just hasn't been "convenient."
Planning certain things for my students - there's that laziness again.
Cooking a meal I've planned after being at work all day - laziness.

God has really convicted me of this: my laziness. My idleness. It's not okay. But I'll be honest, laziness is actually a habit and it's a tough one to break.

I think sometimes we rename our laziness. We call it "relaxing," or "taking a breather," or "exhaustion" and of course sometimes we do need to relax and sometimes exhaustion is very real. But in my case, it's usually a good old-fashioned case of laziness.

I want to finish what I start.
I want my intentions to turn into actions.
I want to be a "do what I sayer" instead of a "best intentioner."

So all it boils down to is making sure I spend time in the word, getting off my bum and exercising, serving where I'm needed no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient, following through with my plans, and cooking the meals that I have planned. It doesn't seem like a lot right? That's because it's not. It's really not. I just have to be intentional about my intentions. I have to follow through. As Nike would say...I have to "just do it."

No more excuses. No more doing nothing. No more bailing on my plans.
Time to do what I say I'm going to do.