Thursday, August 30, 2012

He is Constant....

What is the most consistent thing in your life? Or should I say, rather, Who?

Every Christ follower reading this should have responded with the sweet name of our Lord. Oh, but how often do we forget that? I know I do.

Did you know His Word is true? That His promises remain unbroken? That He yearns for you...yes, you.

Yea, I forget that from time to time as well. But, you see, one of the coolest things about God is that He always finds a way to remind just the right moment.

In one of my more recent blogs I talked about my struggle with surrender. That was never more prevalent than this week. Not only are things already tough financially, but there has been some mix ups with the debit cards for our bank accounts. I don't need to get into the nitty gritty but suffice it to say that yesterday when I checked our bank account, it wasn't pretty and I was not happy. We'd been charged overdraft fees AFTER I had deposited money to cover the overdraft. I went to get it straightened out but they only took away one fee (as a "courtesy"). When all was said and done, we were down to single digits in our account. I have NEVER had that happen and I was mortified...and felt defeated. I knew I was getting paid this week but I expected 3 days worth since the pay period was from Aug 1 to Aug 15 and I only worked the 13th-15th. I knew this would not be enough to cover bills.

I was in tears when I got back into my car after accomplishing next to nothing at the bank. And I know God tried to speak to me immediately through song...He does that a lot. But my spirit felt crushed and I didn't want to listen.

Today, I just poured myself into work. This year, it's the place I can forget about all the other stuff. I don't feel the weight and the burden when I'm there. Can I just tell you how nice that feels? But I'll get to that later. After the day was done I went to check my box and found my first paycheck. I was happy to have some money but at the same time was gearing myself up for figuring out what I would decide to pay and what I would leave alone this month (something I've also never had to do). But as He does over and over and over again, God reminded me Who He is. I had a FULL 2 weeks check! Unexpected? Yes! I was overjoyed and just thanked God over and over for showing me again, that I don't need to worry.

I can't begin to tell you how many times J and I have asked that question over the course of the last few months as God has provided in a myriad of ways. It seems like every time I turn around we're asking, "Why do we worry?"

And not only was it a full 2 weeks check, I calculated that I'll be bringing home a few hundred dollars more a month - enough to give us wiggle room. Ah, wiggle nice. Thank you, Lord! I think I could write a book on the ways He has provided in the 11th hour for us. It's incredible!

Now back to my job....I absolutely love it there. The atmosphere, the people, the kids...just about everything. The morale is 100 x's better. The majority of the faculty works together for the greater good of the kids. I love my 5th grade team and couldn't ask for better co-workers. They are incredible. And while not being able to have my own room right away due to permitting issues and whatnot has been challenging, I couldn't ask to team teach with a better partner. While I am ready for my own space and I'm sure she's ready to have me out of there, we mesh well. We're teaching the exact same thing so we get to split the work which is so nice. And I love 5th grade. I know it's still early in the year but I think it may be my favorite. They're old enough that they can work independently pretty well and can carry on a decent conversation and young enough that they are still sweet and still want to please. I absolutely adore them. Sure, I'm finding things that Polk County actually does a better job of than Hillsborough (gasp!) but at least I get paid more and at my school, we get comp time! Yes siree bob! I feel like I want to give more of myself now. I've been in survival mode nearly since I started this career but I think I'm going to get out of that mode this year. I find myself wanting to give more effort and time....mostly because my kids appreciate it. The Lord definitely placed this job here for me in this time....and I will never be able to thank Him enough.

In closing, here is the song I mentioned above that God tried to use to speak to came on the radio tonight too as another gentle reminder. It was as if He was saying to me..."Do you get it now?"

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